Rahasia

Rahasia

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 12:03 am in poetry,

Aku tidak ingin memaksakan

Bagaimana cerita kita akan berjalan

Aku hanya melihat kedepan

Bukan katamu semakin ke selatan

Tak ada yang tahu tentang masa depan

Kecuali kau cenayang atas izin Tuhan

Tapi kau merencanakan sesuatu

Yang kau rahasiakan dan aku tak tahu

Seperti itukah caramu untuk pergi?

Seingin itu kau untuk melupakan?

Aku tak pernah berusaha

Karena aku memang tak ingin lupa

Atau pergi meninggalkan

Karena aku selalu ada

Walau kau sudah tak ingin melihatnya

Continue Reading

Desember

Desember

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 7:34 pm in poetry,

Setahun lalu

Dibulan Desember

Aku ingat

Bagaimana musim hujan turun saat itu

Bagaimana kau datang dan mendamaikan

Bagaimana aku mulai menata dan mempersiapkan perasaan

Aku ingat

Setiap lelucon yang kau lontarkan

Setiap tawa yang kau buat

Setiap senyum yang kau berikan

Adalah yang paling membahagiakan

Aku ingat

Selalu ada sayang dibalik cemburu

Selalu ada maaf dibalik amarah

Selalu ada rindu dibalik sepi

Maka selalu ada alasan untuk kembali

Sekarang aku ingat

Setahun lalu

Dibulan Desember

Continue Reading

Stay

Stay

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 7:03 pm in poetry,

The word I heard from you yesterday was stay

Then I would, cause I love you

And I do.

You know.

But these days,

The only thing that kept over my head was the rain

The rain that bring me some memories

Your first chocolate, sweet

As sweet as the time we spent together at the terrace

Talk about shit just to kill the time

Laugh a lot till the rain stops

Did you remember? Those feels on that night?

Now you just throw everything away

You are as cold as an ice

But even you are

You are absolutely burn as a bonfire

You make it like there’s nothing to worry

And I was on my deepest fear

Of losing you, again

Because you were the one I wanted most to stay.

Continue Reading

Mimpi

Mimpi

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 9:58 pm in poetry,

Tidur hanya berangan

Duduk lalu termenung

Berdiri kemudian berkaca

Berjalan entah tanpa tujuan

Sungguh aku benci begini

Beri aku satu pasti

Maka aku akan berlari

Membangun mimpi-mimpi

Continue Reading

Hilang

Hilang

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 11:47 am in poetry,

Habis semua kata

Kuberi sudah semua rasa

Tak bersisa air mata

Tapi kau anggap semua ini drama

Mempertahankan semampu yang kubisa

Membuang semua ego ku yang masih ada

Menyesali segala perbuatan

Menangisi segala ucapan

Aku sayang kamu

Sesayang itu hingga kuhilangkan rasa malu

Sesayang itu hingga melihatmu kecewa saja aku tak mampu

Sesayang itu sampai aku lupa siapa diriku

Beri aku kesempatan untuk memperbaiki

Aku memohon padamu penuh iba

Jangan kau biarkan melepasku untuk bebas sendirian

Karena tanpamu aku bagai layangan tanpa benang

Aku hilang arah.

Continue Reading

Bad Temper

Bad Temper

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 8:20 pm in mine,

       Yap my temper is very bad and I knew it since JHS (also my friends too). People might think I am a quite person but if you trigger me with things that I don't like I would fight you with my statements. I can be so sharp at making a statement. I will debating until its clear enough. Even I'm not always wrong, but not always right as well. My bad temper has been causing so much damages in relationship between me and my family, my friends, and my boyfriend. 

       Tongue is boneless. The easiest way to hurt people is by saying something rude and sarcasm. If I'm in my temper I would saying those things, rude and sarcasm without knowing the impact for people that I fight to. But remember, I won't pick up a fight, if you don't trigger me. I guarantee you 100%. I am not Frht Abbs's typical person who always looking for enemies or kind of. Lol sorry. Oh and I am a girl. My hormones also take a part and girls are sensitive so am I. I'm just being real me.

       People have problems so do I. Sadly, I can't handle them alone. But somehow I just can't tell everything even you are my family, friends or my boyfriend. But Allah is the only one I can't lie to. Don't complaining. Just treat me as well while I'm in my temper. Understand me. Sounds selfish but seriously help me out. Remind me if I was out of control. Because I'm trying to be more patience since in college. It's good, right? Changing into something better than before.

       I apologize to some people that close to me for all the things I did wrong, for all the days I ruined, for all the troubles I've made. Especially my mom and Pota. Nobody would like to be the blame. Nobody would like to get the impact of my bad temper. I love you, but I  just don't know how not to be me...sorry.

       

Continue Reading

Two Sides

Two Sides

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 11:05 pm in poetry,

Love always has two sides  
The giver and the receiver side
Sometimes you should be able to be both
Not necessary force for love rather than compulsion

You just need to wait
Wait until they understand
Do not have to rush
Because love will not going to embarrass you
 
When the time comes you will be aware
They certainly cares
They certainly wants
They just have not seen, have not felt
 
Do not hesitate to be a giver
Do not be ashamed to be the recipient
Balance the two and you will find happiness
But if capable of being a giver why wait to be the recipient?

Continue Reading

morning with you

morning with you

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 8:05 am in poetry,

I miss for the morning that I awake laying beside you

That is your chest

That rock me to sleep with the rhythms

That are your breaths

I just want to wake up and feel your arms

That are really safe and peace

I just want to wake up and your feet laced between my legs

And the warmth of your lips starting my day.

Continue Reading

Arti Ekspresi

Arti Ekspresi

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 5:02 pm in poetry,

Sebelum ini aku tahu pasti
Segala emosi yang kau beri

Hanyalah guratan wajah yang tersembunyi

Kau sebenarnya pergi

Dan kau masih belum kembali

Semua ekspresi sudah menjadi saksi

Bagaimana aku bisa mengerti?

Kalau kau saja tak memaknai sebuah arti

Mengapa juga aku harus begini?

Memikirkan kita dan ego sendiri

Terkadang sesal adalah hal yang ingin kulalui

Namun dengan apa aku harus mengakhiri

Jika denganmu aku ingin waktu berhenti

Continue Reading

You've Got Me

You've Got Me

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 5:00 pm in poetry,

"I'm tired"
"I give up"
"I'm fucking done with you."
Now these word will be just word
Came out from mouth
Gone with the wind

Even sometimes those scar still exist
But feeling always has reason to cure
Even sometimes I still felt the pain
But feeling always win to ignore

Because I still have a piece of love

I hold it tight

I keep it right

Until heart is bleeding

Until heart doesn't feel anything

And heart still survive

As you know

I don't fall in love with you

Never fall

But I do in love with you

So much deeper every single day

Cause you've got me

All of me

Continue Reading

Hati Mati

Hati Mati

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 7:57 pm in poetry,

Logika akan selalu kalah

Seiring hati selalu menuntut

Sudah tahu medan di depan

Tetap saja kau ini batu

Kalau sudah terlanjur

Kau salahkan logika

Padahal kau tahu ia mengingatkan

Tapi tak kau hiraukan

Sudah diberi pendengaran

Kau berlagak tuli

Sudah diberi penglihatan

Kau berlaku sibuta

Karena saat itu sebenarnya kau mati

Berdampak logika tak berfungsi

Hati diselimuti rasa yang berlebihan

Kau lumpuh seketika tak berjalan

Karena hati ibarat perempuan

Dan logika adalah laki-laki

Hati susah menahan rasa

Logika susah menahan kemungkinan

Lalu siapa yang akan menang?

Continue Reading

a Random-Half-Poem

a Random-Half-Poem

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 10:42 pm in poetry,

This anger really filled me up

My eyes were blind

My ears were deaf

My heart was numb

I'm in two different phase

One in a right way

Another one in a fool way

Can't take one of it

I'd like to say sorry

But no please stop

Cause I don't know

Nobody told me

While those regrets are coming through

I'm tired of being last to know

But the truth is still hanging

Right in his tongue

I'm not fucking ready

Like seriously

It's not fucking easy

Sorry for these fucking words

I understand now

But that's not the answer

I don't need apology

I need truth

If laugh doesn't make a sense

If surprises doesn't work on you

If I'm not enough for you

It's funny cause I'm nothing

Did I really know you?

Oh did I?

Continue Reading

well done, jerk.

well done, jerk.

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 1:35 pm in mine,

       So he has been the most selfish person I've ever know. Covering those bullshits with kind of sugarcoat and sweet stuffs. Now I know a roses, a chocolate, a song will not proof anything. Saying the same thing while he still has the same feeling too with his ex-crush. But Allah still loves me, even I'm tired of being the last to know. Let me caps these words, "GUE RELA NYAKITIN ANA DEMI LO". Oh, okay... Maybe I deserve it. But did I ever hurt you? Or make you cry? Make you feeling so blue? Ups, sorry I'm talking about me not you. I made you videos to proof a thing, to made you smile, to made you laugh. Wait, did you gave me a fake smile and a fake laugh too? My bad. I know we're nothing, but you don't have to treat me like this. You're always blaming me to let me down. Then you asked me to explain everything and I did. So why don't you gave me your defense or another explanation? Or saying sorry if all of my accusation are true? And the last, I never be the same as her. I can't drawing, I can't do make up well, I'm walking not driving, and I'm not her. Good luck with your ex-crush. Well done, God bless this young bad boy, a fake pathetic liar, a moron Jerk. :-)

oh btw,

I'VE DELETED ALL OF MY POST WHICH IS RELATED TO HIM EXCEPT MY POEMS BECAUSE POEMS ARE UNIVERSAL. GUE GATAU INI BAKAL BERLANGSUNG SAMPE KAPAN BUT ALL I KNOW IS WE'RE FUCKING DONE, MR. JERK.

WE'RE FUCKING DONE.

p.s i'm not a big mouth, just being sarcastic. :-)

Continue Reading

Renungi

Renungi

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 1:43 am in poetry,

Ketika ucapan sudah tak dipercaya

Ketika tindakan sudah tidak memberi arti

Ketika mengalah pun seakan sia-sia

Ketika bertahan tapi ia justru memilih pergi

Karena setiap kata yang aku ucapkan memiliki makna sendiri

Membuat kau berfikir sejenak lalu kau renungi

Karena disetiap tindakan yang aku beri selalu bertujuan

Agar kau paham bahwa ucapan tak berarti apa-apa tanpa perbuatan

Karena mengalah mengajarkan kita untuk melepas semua ego yang ada

Lagipula, bukankah mengalah tidak berarti kalah?

Karena disaat ada yang bertahan disitulah seharusnya kau mampu melihat, mampu merasa

Betapa ia berusaha tidak berpaling dari sekian yang ada

Betapa ia tahu bahwa ada yang lebih layak mendapatkannya

Betapa ia sudah terlalu lelah dengan semua buaian tak berguna

Maka disanalah ia bertahan, aku bertahan

Mengapa tak bisa kau yang merasakan kata tanpa aku harus mengatakan rasa?

Continue Reading

Unseen But Felt

Unseen But Felt

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 8:46 pm in poetry,

There will come a day most good

When we are stop whispering to each others

When we are no longer mutually hypocrite against our feelings

I'd let you in when it's time

When every time I see you

There were fireworks without any celebration

I built my world around you

Now I destroy my walls to let you in

To gave you all I had

I was a solid rock

Melting away at your fingertips

I bite my tongue not to say I love you

But heart says I do

I told myself not to miss you

Ended up giving in and missing you more

Thought I must’ve been too weak

I told God, you are an asshole

Bet He knew I was just bitter over love

Rain always brings memories of you

But memories just same as you inhale a cigarette

Favors but slowly killing

Too much memories that you're planting

But you forget then you're cutting

Either a dream or am I blinding

I still hold out

When your heart began to split thousands

Fragile, I do not know what do you want

Although that day will comes end

Although the leaves are no longer loyal to the limb

Despite you break my heart for many times

Never mind, my heart just lizard tail
Grow when it hurts.

Continue Reading

Layang-Layang

Layang-Layang

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 11:40 pm in poetry, random,

aku ini layang-layang

kertas yang ditautkan sebuah benang

kau yang manarik ulur benang

lalu aku melayang

terbawa angin jalang

terbuai di awang-awang

tersesat lupa jalan pulang

kemudian tersangkut dikenangan

Continue Reading

-

-

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 11:15 am in mine,

       This month taught me a lot of lesson (even this month is not over yet), between a happiness and those pain. I changed the description of my blog to "some things are best left written". Including some greater things that are best left written too. Yes, at least for me. I'm typical of a passive person. I'd like to talk but we all gotta be careful for what we are about to say, right? Cause tongue is very dangerous and it is always hard to hold our tongue for words become superfluous. So I prefer to quite and write it down on my blog. I don't care with people's judge about this blog or about me. Even there're so many rude words, sorry not sorry but this what I thought.

       I said, some greater things that are best left written because the tongue is too weak to speak out of something so powerful as love. The tongue can speak but never withstand a powerful feeling like love. Hahaha sounds weird but you can't deny that's true. As you want to say, "Hi" to someone you really like but you feel that your tongue is frozen. You can't say a word. I bet everyone has the same thing.

       Okay...back to the first sentence. What kind of lesson did I've learned? Where's the happiness or the pain? If you stalking my blog you can probably answer those question. Yeah shit happens, yesterday was a slap on my right and left cheek. But if shits stop happening, it means you ain't living. (Lol, why it sounds wiser?) Well, I wish I could turn back time and fix every mistakes that I've done in the past. I wish I could think of risk in the future, which is now actually happening. I don't blame anybody, I blame my self for being so stupid. I didn't mean to ruin everything. I hope I could pull my words back as if it all never happened, but it seems too late. Now I'm full of regret. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to my self too. I know more than 70% apologies are meaningless, but not mine. I'm one of those 30%. I fucked up pretty good then.
       Enough for these shit apologies, that the last thing I said sorry. Now I'm enjoying my holiday without any burden. Btw this holiday I ate too much, you can check on my Path :( I eat like 24/7, but never get fat. Thanks God, You know me so well hahaha. I'm happy cause everything back to the way it should. People loves me as a 'freak', not the mellow one. I've to realize that I'm more annoying when I get 'galau', 'baper', and things like that. Disgusting...lol. Oh why I write this post with full English? Because I know some people are too lazy to translate it first, they have to think before they read it as full story. Am I right? Heuheu.
       So, I don't mind if some of you just be a silent reader. Thank you for visiting this silly blog of a lovely sassy bitch (re: me). Hahaha, kidding.

Bonus ;

Continue Reading

3 Kinds of Heartbreak

3 Kinds of Heartbreak

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 11:58 pm in poetry, random,

The first is when someone is reckless with your heart

and it breaks and it shatters in ways

you never thought it could

The second is when you break someone's heart 

because you'll never know pain

like the type that has you look into their eyes

but they look away

And the worst kind of heartbreak is the kind that comes along

when you have to watch the person you love be happy

with someone else.

Continue Reading

Terakhir.

Terakhir.

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 8:46 am in mine,

       I'm so damn fcking tired of being silly as a donkey. I'm giving up, bro. Saya tutup buku saja. Sekali lagi kayak gini gue bisa dapet piring cantik bermotif bunga-bunga kali ya. Sebelum saya dapet piring bunga-bunga apalagi bunganya bunga bangkai, I choose to quit. Gausahlah tau alasannya kalau sebenarnya orang tersebut tau salahnya dimana. Gak salah sih, tapi ah peduli setan buat gue tetep aja salah. 

       Gue tau cerita awalnya gimana gue tau semuanya, buat apa deket tapi akhirnya berpaling juga? Gue tau tujuan awalnya kesiapa dan maunya apa. Kalo udah gini masa gue tetep maksa mengingat keadaan sebenarnya orang yang bersangkutan tujuannya bukan ke gue. Alhamdulillah gue masih punya kaca kok sebadan jadi ya bisa liat diri sendiri aja gue ini apa. Wah gue tipe orang yang selalu positive thinking, simple gak mau neko-neko, jalanin aja yang sekarang gausah muluk-muluk tapi kadang jadi baik sama kelihatan bodoh beda tipis. Gausah banyak-banyak dicari kalau satu aja udah bikin gue kayak gini. Udah biasa banget dimanisin terus besok baru kerasa sepahnya. Kalau tiap hari nyaris begini lama-lama bisa ilang nih hati kegerus mulu.

       Before it gets deeper, gue milih ikhlas bukan tulus. #sempetngejayus... Gak tapi serius, gue ikhlas. Gue kembalikan pada hakekatnya. Gue mundur atas pergolakan batin dan kecaman pikiran sendiri #semacambahasavicky. But congrats aja buat yang udah dapetin keinginannya dulu. Perlahan tapi pasti dan lagi-lagi dengan tangan kosong. Bukan berarti gue mudah mengikhlaskan kayak gini karena pendapat orang yang bilang gue masih banyak stock modusan atau gebetan atau sebutan sampah lainnya ibarat lepas satu tumbuh seribu. Gue sudah merelakan satu per satu orang yang deketin gue pergi karena gue memilih bertahan pada satu orang. Herannya orang ini berlaku posesif tapi yang ngeposesifin malah melakukan apa yang dia posesifin. Bingung kan? Sama. 

       Percaya banget deh sama kata-kata ini,

"Apa yang sudah ditakdirkan untuk menjadi milikmu maka selamanya akan menjadi milikmu "

        Ini kejadian pas gue kemarin nyari meja di Keibar wkwk, oke gapenting.. So, ini postan terakhir gue membahas hal seputar ini dan semua yang berkaitan didalamnya. 

Tips: 

Bertemanlah tanpa mengambil keuntungan apapun, jangan baper apalagi kalau udah tau yang dibaperin suka sama yang lain, jangan berada di zona status nanggung, jangan jadi baik tapi bertindak bodoh, selebihnya bisa diserap sendiri berdasarkan post-postan gue sebelumnya.

There's still so many bitch outside, then here's for you the lucky women after me. I'm done. :)

Continue Reading

People Nowdays

People Nowdays

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 10:20 am in mine,

       Akhir-akhir ini gue lagi menemukan banyak orang fake disekitar gue. For example, gue ngasih tau si A sesuatu yang bagi gue penting ya semacam rahasialah terus gak lama gue lagi ngobrol sama si B dan dia tau rahasia yang gue tadi ceritain ke si A. Tanpa gue tanya dia tau darimana gue udah tau duluan, secara yang gue kasih tau cuma si A darimana lagi coba sumbernya. Thanks for B sekarang gue tau si A cuma muka dua, bilangnya "Iya janji gue gak ngasih tau siapa-siapa, kenapa emang?" Such a liar. Mereka cuma mau tau urusan lo lalu menjadikannya bahan buat obrolan ke yang lain. Fcky.  :)

       Adalagi yang cuma pretending like, "It's okay Ana, even you did that thing I'm not gonna do the same thing." Padahal aslinya? This person do that thing better than me. Contoh lainnya, "Aku gabakal kok sama dia itu udah cerita lama kali kan kamu sekarang sama aku." kemudian putus berjarak 5 hari jadian sama this bitj. Wakaka makan tuh bitj makan tuh cerita lama bullsht. Terus ada juga yang pura-pura over protective padahal aslinya ewh, "Ngapain sih sama dia? *ngedumel* *ngancem-ngancem*" kemudian besoknya jalan sama yang lain chat modus sana sini terus gue cuma bisa senyum penuh murka dalem hati. Poop. Well itu contoh lama sih, lol. Duh ada apa sih sama orang-orang? Gue juga sering pretending sih but in a good way (?). Kayak nutupin kalo gue lagi kesel atau sedih dengan pura-pura senyum and pretending like everything's fine. Tapi gue gak fake. Kalo gue fake, kenapa juga gue gak malu nutupin ke freakan gue depan temen-temen gue? Ini post random sih sebenernya abisan kesel aja macem orang kayak gitu, cerita orang dijadiin konsumsi publik. Dikasih kepercayaan malah dibuat main.

Buat lo yang ngerasa aja ya, lo tau gaksih muka lo kayak apa?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

kayak gitu nyed, HAHA fck off.

Continue Reading

Dear Whoever You Might Be

Dear Whoever You Might Be

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 9:37 am in poetry,

Dear whoever you might be

I don't know who are you yet

Whether you are in this time or in the future

Let me see you based on my point of view

Cause I'd like to wondering that

His tongue like pages of  James Joyce

Dark, thoughtful, playful, and dreamy

I have always loved it when he talked to me

It's like seduce to my ears

As cheesy as a poem of 5 y.o boy to his first love

The way his eyes glowed when he stared at you

I'm telling you,

He has the most intimidating eyes

You can never look away 

He's like time bomb

An explosion but he always explode with fireworks muttering flirting words

He's about to surprise you

You're going to fall in love so much deeper

He's an asshole, he's my favorite

His selfishness is crazy

He can be a killer or protector

But when it comes to you, he wants you all for himself

You're going to fall in love the way he calls you at midnight

You're going to fall in love the way he tries to fall asleep in your thigh

You're going to fall in love the way he gives you that smile

I'm warning you

He's about to mess you up.

It's kind of fairytale

Then I stop to wondering.

Continue Reading

Explanation

Explanation

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 11:31 pm in mine,

       Blog ini sempet gue block buat pembaca, dan yang bisa akses gue doang sebagai owner sekaligus penulisnya. Sehari doang kok, gara-gara postan sebelum ini berisi curhatan gue yang gak layak diliat. Gue bingung kemarin harus ngeluapinnya kemana, daripada ngedumel gajelas mending gue post disini dalam keadaan privacy jadi bebas gue mau ngekspresiin kekeselan gue. Buat yang langsung nyari kesini untuk tau betapa keselnya gue kemarin, lo udah dijalan yang benar cuma kurang cepet aja karena keburu gue block blognya. :)

       I was on fire yesterday. Gue jadi menyesali banyak hal, jadi ngeliat sesuatu, jadi kebukalah pikirannya. Masih rancu sih dan masih dari sudut pandang gue aja. Tapi cukup untuk jadi pegangan, cukup jadi alasan, cukup jadi pelajaran aja untuk saat ini. Gue cuma mau klarifikasi aja soal pandangan seseorang atau mungkin beberapa orang ke gue. Soal gebetan (I called it crush), modusan, or whatever you call it. Gue jelasin dulu perbedaannya. Based on Urban Dictionary, Crush is a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special. Jadi gebetan tuh ya sesorang yang emang bagi kita spesial dan kita taksir banget. Sedangkan modusan sesorang yang kita suka ini kita kasih tindakan semacam flirting. Kita yang chat duluanlah, kita yang genit, kita yang maju duluan untuk deketin gebetan. And I'm not that type of girl. Gue juga heran kenapa semua temen gue bilang gue punya banyak modusan, padahal diantara itu semua bukan gue duluan yang modusin mereka. Sumpah ini gamaksud pamer, gamaksud sombong, apalagi merasa bangga. Yaelah ngapain juga sih pamer, gue gak cantik kayak Pevita atau Raisa mereka sombong karena yang naksir banyak mah boleh aja orang cantik siapa yang gasuka? Tapi kan emang mereka sombong sama cowok-cowok yang naksir mereka banyak? Boro-boro. Nah apalagi cuma cewek kayak gue. Gue bersyukur kalo emang ada yang suka sama apa yang berhubungan dengan gue, tapi gak maksud sama sekali mau banggain itu dari gue. Masih mau bilang gue cabe? Bitch? Slut? Silahkan, tapi kasih tau gue dimana cabenya dimana bitchnya dimana slutnya. Did I ever took someone's bf? Did I ever cheating? Did I ever change my boyfriend every week or every month? Hell NO.

        Gue tipe orang gamau ribet apalagi soal kayak gini, kalo udah ada satu yang gue ngerasa pas yaudah ngapain ngeladenin yang lain. Kalo itu gapenting-penting banget chatnya paling gue read doang, gue kacangin, terus end chat. Jahat? Emang. It means that I'm so comfortable chatting with someone then I just left the conversation with those guys. Sounds selfish, idc. Terakhir, cara kamu buat bikin aku jealous atau panas sampe kebakaran kayak kemarin itu sukses besar. Aku cuma mau bilang terimakasih udah nunjukin dengan cara seperti itu, aku juga mau minta maaf kalau emang kamu merasa aku pamer atau terlalu bangga dengan 'modusan' itu yang sebenarnya tidak. Aku gak sok merasa tegar, karena emang aku sadar aku siapa dan gak layak buat emosi berlebihan. Yaudah ya tutup cerita aja, gak aus kelamaan kayak gini? Nanti jadi awkward ah tidak enak wkwk. Bye luvsss!

Continue Reading

Untitled

Untitled

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 5:42 pm in mine,

       Setuju sama tulisan Tere Liye diatas. 'Cukup' ngebuka pikiran gue yang dari kemarin terkatung-katung entah dimana. Sabar emang kuncinya, karena sebaik-baiknya hubungan adalah yang sama-sama bisa mengisi kekosongan, gak mesti pacaran. Sekali lagi itu bukan masalah statusnya tapi gimana lo ngejalaninnya. 

       Ini dari sisi bijak gue. Kita liat dari sisi kampretnya.

       Indah sih kalo kita sama-sama bisa nerimanya, tapi bisa juga gundah 'kalo' salah satu diantaranya jadian sama yang lain. Marah, kesel, dan cemburu pasti. Tapi kita gak punya hak prerogatif untuk ketiganya. Tapi kalo ditanya balik, emangnya kita siapa? Kemudian hening. Hening terus meringis dengan hati teriris.. #lebhay. Mendadak lupa kalo kita sebenarnya di zona status nanggung. Kita juga jangan berheti untuk mengerti, selalu dengerin keluh kesahnya. Posisikan sebagai orang yang ada saat dibutuhkan. Semisal kita yang butuh atau sekedar kangen, yaudah telen aja sendiri. Mau ngapain lagi emang? Resikolah. Biar waktu yang kasih liat. Sabar emang sakit tapi inget gak selamanya kita dibawah. Ya sepait-paitnya kita masih ada lah diujung hatinya, nyempil. Percaya kok nama kita masih ketulis disana, samar-samar walau cuma pake pensil.

       At least, udah bilang sama-sama sayang. Gak sayang sendirian. Gak baper sendirian. It seems simple, but changes everything. Ujung-ujungnya balik lagi ke pepatah lama, "Cinta gak harus memiliki."  Bukan selalu nembak atau ditembak terus jadian. Anggep aja proses pendewasaan pikiran.

This fucking bullshit!

Continue Reading

Saya

Saya

Posted by Avriana Indarwasti on 9:14 pm in poetry,

Saya terlalu takut untuk bertanya

Bertanya untuk sebuah kepastian

Kemana semua ini mengarah

Apa saya yang terlalu berperasaan?

Menganggap semuanya akan terlihat baik

Padahal sesungguhnya tidak?

Haruskan bertahan atau sebaliknya?

Pergi lalu menganggap semua tak ada?

Saya bukan tak berusaha

Sudah, sudah pernah saya coba

Bahkan seekor cicak pun bisa menyadarinya

Mengapa hanya dia yang buta?

Buta atau dia memang sengaja tak sudi melihat?

Saya ini bukan cenayang

Yang bisa membaca atau setidaknya menerka-nerka

Jangankan membaca memikirkannya saja masih ragu

Bertahan ditempat yang salah

Merelakan yang lain terpisah

Percuma saja semua

Sia-sia belaka

Silahkan nikmati yang ada

Bodoh kamu, Saya.

Continue Reading